This is a question I get from time to time—and the answer is complex. As someone who’s been a nurse at the bedside and a lawyer representing doctors, hospitals, long-term care facilities, and families—including families whose loved ones were harmed in nursing homes—I bring a unique perspective. Here are my thoughts on how to make the best choice for your parent:
1.Choose the Right Level of Care
Not all facilities are created equal. Matching your parent to the right level of care is essential to keeping them safe, supported, and as independent as possible.
Skilled Nursing Facilities (SNFs):
For medically fragile parents who are bedridden, at high risk of falls, or need tube feedings, injections, or wound care, skilled nursing is the safest choice. These facilities provide 24/7 medical care like a hospital.
Assisted Living:
If your parent is still independent but needs help with meals, bathing, medication reminders, or transportation, assisted living offers a more social and less clinical setting.
Memory Care:
Parents with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia often do best in specialized memory care programs that are secure and staffed by professionals trained to manage memory-related behaviors and anxieties.
Rehabilitation Centers:
If your loved one is recovering from surgery or a hospital stay, a short-term stay in a rehab facility can help them regain strength with access to daily therapies, such as physical or occupational therapy, before returning home or transitioning to another care level.
If you’re not sure which option is right, ask their doctor or nurse practitioner.
- Research the Facility Online
Before you visit in person, do your homework.
– Google the facility. Read reviews from residents and family members to get a sense of patterns—both positive and negative.
– Use Medicare’s Nursing Home Compare tool: This free online resource lets you compare ratings, staffing levels, health inspection results, and more. Here’s the link: https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/
– Check the license: Look up the facility’s license status with your state’s department of public health or licensing authority. Make sure it’s current and review any citations or complaints.
- Visit—and Trust Your Instincts
Once you’ve narrowed down your options, schedule visits. When you’re there:
– Observe the environment. Is it clean? Peaceful? Well-maintained? Look at the rooms, including the bathrooms, the common areas and the outdoor space. Taste the food. Participate in an activity.
– Talk to the staff—and ask them how long they’ve worked there. High staff turnover can be a warning sign of poor management or low morale.
– Talk to current residents and, even more importantly, other visiting family members. Ask what they like, what they don’t, and what they wish they’d known sooner.
Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions. As much as we want to be gracious and trusting, your parent’s safety and dignity depend on your vigilance. If something feels off—go with your gut.
The best facility is one that not only meets your parent’s medical needs but also supports their emotional well-being. Be informed. Be present. And don’t be afraid to speak up.
Have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to Ask Your RN Attorney—I’d love to help.